Lucy god damn you need to stop soaking your panties jesus fuck all he did was a leap of faith he does them 24/7 just his first IRL one.

Cesare is that new conditioner you are looking lovely mio caro.

Yes Ezio run outside in your undergarments. Fuck da police. Go kill an army in your undershirt and pants.

Caterina: Ready to go again?


LATER—
Caterina: Strictly Business.



YES. OF COURSE. BECAUSE HOOKERS OFFER ROUND TWO.

Ezio: Who is Desmond?!
Mario: Who is Desmond?
Player: DONT WE ALL FUCKING WONDER. MAYBE HE’LL GET HIS OWN GAME.

….MAYBE FUCKING NOT. GODDAMNIT UBISOFT.

Fuckin Ezio flirtin’ with the peasant bitches, then goes inside and suddenly Caterina Sforza.

Clowdeeyuh!

My Seestur!

Way to stroke the ego, guys.

Fucking Ezio’s family always makes me a smidge weepy.